Dr. Evelyn DeVilliers
Retreats in La Jolla, California
Clinical Psychologist
New York: #020699-1
California: #psy18687
Tennessee – pending
Authorized for teletherapy across 30+ states through Psypact
Clinically Speaking
What drew me to couples therapy was heartbreak—watching too many children get caught in the wreckage of contentious custody battles. I spent a year doing custody evaluations for high-conflict divorcing parents. It was gut-wrenching. But it was also clarifying. I knew I had to shift my focus: to help couples earlier, before things fell apart.
That’s when I discovered John Gottman’s work. The research was clear. The approach was evidence-based. And the results? Nothing short of transformational. For the past two decades, I’ve helped couples rebuild trust, heal old wounds, and create marriages stronger than they ever thought possible.
Whether I’m working with active-duty military couples, Navy SEALs transitioning to civilian life, or two partners simply struggling to communicate—I bring a grounded, empathetic, and practical approach. Therapy with me is never just about problem-solving. It’s about building something better than what you had before. That’s the work I love.
As Gottman says, therapy should help you:
“Turn conflict into a new experience of revealing and honoring life dreams, finding shared meaning, and reaffirming the couple’s friendship.”
Clinical Office
My office is in La Jolla, California—a coastal town where the climate is near-perfect year-round. We’re surrounded by charming cafes, boutiques, the Museum of Contemporary Art, and walking distance to La Jolla Cove. From my waiting room, you can see the ocean. It’s a calm, welcoming space designed to help you exhale and reconnect.
I will also soon have an office in Warren County, Tennessee, so stay tuned.
Inspirations
My father is a constant source of inspiration. He left home at 13, joined the Marines at 17, and built a life defined by courage, integrity, and kindness. Even in retirement, he became a Court Appointed Special Advocate for foster children. He reminds me that we are all capable of transformation, no matter how we start
Dr. Evelyn De Villiers was so good for us. I could not imagine a better person to counsel us. We have hope for our relationship. Skills to handle conflict. [Learned] how to take a time out for 20 minutes when things escalate. We have a better understanding of how we got here and how to turn the boat around. We are moving away from negative sentiment, making deposits, listening and using soft starts to conversations.
Personally Speaking
I grew up in a military family, the kind where you learn to be resilient because everything changes. We moved every few years. I had to make new friends, start new schools, and constantly find my footing. What I learned to seek out, more than anything, was kindness. To this day, I think kindness is the foundation of every good relationship—and every good therapist.
I never saw myself as college material. I dropped out young, got married early, and had my first child at 21. Then, everything changed. At four years old, my daughter suddenly lost all her hearing due to a rare virus. My son was six weeks old. That moment cracked my world wide open—but also cracked it open to purpose. I started a parent support group, went back to school, and eventually earned my doctorate in psychology. Late bloomer? Maybe. But determined? Absolutely.
Over the years, I’ve worked in Manhattan, Big Bear, and now La Jolla. I’ve hosted couples retreats in wine country inns, run workshops at community churches, and sat with Navy SEALs working to rebuild connection after deployment. I’ve learned that no matter where people come from or what they’ve been through, the desire to love and be loved is universal.
Previous Work Experience
My clinical journey has taken me from California to New York and back again. I’ve worked in private practice, in nonprofits helping women escape trafficking, in clinics serving underserved communities, and currently with military families and Navy SEALs transitioning to civilian life. I’ve treated people from all walks of life—from Wall Street to the projects—and I bring that breadth of experience into every session.
Hobbies and Obsessions
Travel is my favorite escape. I’ve been to a game reserve in South Africa (yes, there were rangers with rifles), and I’ve wandered through European streets soaking in beauty, history, and architecture.
I read constantly—mostly spy thrillers and historical fiction. I’m drawn to stories of people who survive impossible odds. I’ve even shared a stage with generals and special agents at a security summit in San Diego. I find resilience fascinating.
When I’m home, you’ll find me hiking with music in my ears and my dog Rosie by my side. Rosie, by the way, is my best therapist.
I also binge-watch spy dramas and detective shows without guilt. (Yes, I’ve spent a full day in pajamas doing this.)
Family and Community
My greatest joy comes from my children and grandchildren. I have seven children (blended family), nearly eight grandchildren, and a wildly funny brother who always makes me laugh.
I’m deeply rooted in my faith and my community. Some of my closest friends have been in my life for over 20 years, and my church is a foundational part of my support system.
I look forward to welcoming you to my office in La Jolla. Let’s begin a new chapter—together.
