Fiona Herbert
Conducting in-person intensives in Liphook, East Hampshire, England
Social Work England SW49998
Association of Family Therapy 70228104
British association of counselling and Psychotherapy -00991722
Clinically Speaking
I believe there’s no such thing as “too small” a problem in a relationship—if it matters to one of you, it matters to both. In my experience, even minor misunderstandings can open the door to conflict cycles that cause deep hurt. But when couples are willing to explore these moments with openness and curiosity, it unlocks the potential for profound growth. That’s the kind of transformation I’m honored to witness.
Working internationally for over a decade—in the Middle East, Africa, and Asia—has shaped how I approach therapy. I’ve often been the outsider, the one who doesn’t share the native language or culture. Far from seeing this as a barrier, I use it to my advantage.
It’s helped me become bolder in my questioning, more attuned to the unspoken, and more adaptive when traditional methods fall short. It’s also taught me that every couple has its own ecosystem, and therapy must honor that uniqueness.
I’m warm, approachable, and a bit of a therapy evangelist—especially when it comes to the skeptics! I enjoy surprising reluctant partners by making therapy not just effective, but also human, creative, and—yes—sometimes even fun.
Humor, feedback, and clear expectations are all part of the room I create. Clients tell me they feel safe with me quickly, and that matters. When people feel safe, they can do the hard work of real change.
My Office in Hampshire
You’ll find my office tucked inside Chiltlee Manor, a Grade II listed building from the 1600s, surrounded by quiet gardens in Liphook.
It’s a place where the stillness of history meets the energy of personal growth. The manor is just a five-minute walk from the local station, with a direct train to London Waterloo in just over an hour. Quaint boutiques and cozy restaurants are a stroll away—perfect for unwinding after a deep day of work.
A Global Journey into Relationship Work
My professional path began in a boarding school in Pakistan where I taught English and coached sports, mostly in Urdu-speaking environments. That time taught me volumes about nonverbal connection and cultural nuance—skills I draw on every day as a couples therapist.
Back in London, I worked in child protection for nearly a decade, supporting families dealing with addiction, poverty, and violence. I later transitioned into international adoption and special needs work in the Middle East, followed by intensive training in Couple and Family Therapy while living in Kenya.
There, therapy sometimes meant sitting with multiple wives from the same family or working through trauma in contexts with limited privacy or resources. These challenges only deepened my creativity and commitment.
In Asia, I ran into the language barrier again—this time with Mandarin. Still, I built trust, found resonance, and even received one of the greatest compliments of my career from a Chinese client: “A single conversation across the table with a wise person is worth a month’s study of books.” That moment reminded me how much this work transcends borders and textbooks.
Languages: English, Basic French, and Swahili
We had both fallen into patterns of only seeing the negative. She helped us shift—now we’re practicing daily appreciations and reconnecting with the love that was always there…
Personally Speaking
I was born in London’s East End and raised in Croydon, where I spent childhood days biking past abandoned airfields and exploring old bomb shelters. My Scottish-English family believed in the “stiff upper lip,” but I’ve always gravitated toward people’s softer sides. It’s a gift to witness vulnerability in those who rarely show it—and a joy to coax emotion out of those who think they don’t “do feelings.”
I come from a family of characters. My mum, an 80-year-old whirlwind of volunteerism and hiking, still zips through London like she’s late for a revolution. My dad’s the political debater with a booming laugh you can hear down the street. He taught me that humor is a survival skill. Together, they showed me how to show up for others with warmth and integrity.
I’m the sort who prefers doing to dreaming. I wake early, make plans, and relish adventure. Whether it’s scoring a goal on the hockey pitch, dragging the family through a European caravan trip, or making masks and oil-painting giant doodles, I like living big and laughing hard. (And no, I do not like frogs. Not in the house, not in the shoes. Thank you, Singapore.)
Parenting & Perspective
I have three young-ish kids who are my best teachers in patience and humility. Despite all I know professionally, parenting is where I fumble with love—and that’s okay. We laugh, we play, and we keep forgiving each other. One of the best decisions we made as a family was taking time off to travel post-lockdown. No routines, no rushing. Just reconnection.
What Inspires Me
People inspire me—especially those who show up for each other through pain, addiction, and uncertainty. Coaches like Aftar in Tanzania, who knew when to push and when to pause. Teachers who played for national teams and still made time for teenagers. My grandmother, who jumped out of a plane at 75. And Bruce Lee, who broke molds and made meaning across cultures. Each of them reminds me what’s possible with courage and creativity.
Giving Back
These days, I stay connected to service through my children’s school and by fundraising for Kenyan charities that remain close to my heart.
I’d love to work with you in my office in Liphook, East Hampshire, England.
